Weregamers: Kweebia's Journal

The Kweebia Journals

by Gary White

Ever since I was young I have always had a disturbing habit. (Well, disturbing to my parents). It seems that I constantly found myself in possession of other people's belongings.

Now you must understand that my father was a minor noble in court of King Quesard of Querthebulon, the gnomish state in the great citystates of Talismonde. My family was never extremely rich or powerful, but my father was the trusted advisor to the king, and my mother had an uncanny knack for reading people’s minds. My father’s position meant he was able to afford tutors for me. It also meant that I spent a lot of my youth with the crown Prince, Quesard the V. We were good friends and we would sneak around the Royal Household finding trouble to get into.

When I turned 65 my father decided that he would tutor me in the art of illusion. My father among other things was an accomplished Illusionist. I took to illusions like an orc to an axe. I was soon able to cast rather complex illusions as well as minor effects. However after a couple of years of study I found myself yearning for something a little more adventurous. So I began exploring the darker side of the city, often using my illusions to escape the old homestead for the much more exciting sections of the city. During my trips to these sections I met a young human named Scolari the Blade. (Well actually I happened to have his purse turn up in my cloak). He liked to imagine himself a dangerous man but in truth he was a better thief than a fighter. He taught me many things about thieving and sneaking. I tried to teach him about illusions but he just never really got the hang of it. We pulled a few minor capers and made a little money.

Around this time my father decided that I was doing well enough with my illusions (if he only knew) that I could start tutoring the Prince, who was having a hard time make a few magical lights appear. So I returned to the Royal Household and began trying to help my friend conjure some phantasms.

One day we decided to ditch his personal bodyguards so I could show him a little more of the city. I carefully cast an illusion of me and the prince walking down the corridor into the study room, meanwhile we went the opposite direction and as simple as a troll regenerating a wound we were out of the house. I took the prince to some of the better dives in the district. We were having a great time. Then as we rounded a corner a man was standing blocking the alley. He said, "So nice to see you without your guards your Highness." As he was speaking he drew a short sword. I leaped in front of the Prince, I know I know, what was I thinking. I drew a throwing knife that I found just the other day and prepared to launch it at the man, but before I could throw it he was in my face, hacking and slashing at me. The guy seemed incredibly fast, it was all I could do to keep him from killing me. I knew I’d never finish this guy with this lame knife I had and I didn’t think I could take his sword without him noticing. So I reached in my pocket, grabbed some colored sand, wiggled my fingers, gave it some huggly muggly and tossed the sand. What do you know, it worked. He stood there stunned. I took advantage of his disability to stab him in the throat. It was pretty gross, blood started squirting and spraying all over my hands. Then he made a gurgling sound that sounded like, "I’ll get you." Then he died. I had never killed another person before and I didn’t quite know what to do or how to feel. I decided he probably wouldn’t be needing that nifty sword anymore so I picked it up, and a few other things that looked interesting.

Right about then his friends showed up at the other end of the alley, so me and the prince decided to make like a goblin and run. As we were fleeing I dropped a handful of caltrops that I found in my pocket and that proved to be enough. We managed to make it back to the Royal Manor.

Unfortunately we were so relieved to be back that I forgot to cast an illusion to cover our entrance. Needless to say, the King was not impressed. For some reason the story of me saving his son’s life didn’t impress him. He just kept getting stuck on the part where I helped him" sneak out of the royal household. Some people are just never happy.

A week later, the guards were making their monthly donations to me. (Side note: never play cards with and illusionist.) When one of the Royal bodyguards told me that the King wanted to see me. I replied, "I would be happy to see the King and you really didn’t need to bring all those guards along to protect me." Some people got no sense of humor. Anyway I was brought in to see the King. He said that he had decided how to reward me for my bravery of the previous week. It seems I had a choice, I could either go to work in the mines, which I’m sure would have been a rewarding career choice, or I could travel to Talismonde, the capital of the citystates of Talismonde (obviously a bastion of creativity) as a representative of the Gnomes. It’s seems there were some problems in a town named Vorh Neyas and the government had asked for help from various states. Of course our state had decided to send the best and the brightest. So I packed my bags, gathered some more donations from the general populace, and headed for the big city.

I could tell this was to be a grand adventure.